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The Lord is not slow to fulfill his promise as some count slowness, but is patient toward you, not wishing that any should perish, but that all should reach repentance.
2 Peter 3:9 (ESV)

The morning of the day Tom died, he spoke words which calmed my heart for years to come. “You don’t need to be baptized to be saved. I don’t want my kids to think I’m not saved.” This, after hints and admissions over the weeks leading up to that day. Something was happening in his heart.

It’s a beautiful story. One I wish every unequally-yoked wife who becomes a widow could tell.

But what about those whose husbands never announced their faith? How do you comfort these widows? And how about those ladies who are struggling, like Tom did, with wanting to be sure this God thing is true? What does it mean about her husband if she now declares the Truth that you must accept that Jesus died for your sins in order to enter into Heaven?

I tackle this head-on here because I have seen the pain when this issue isn’t resolved. My father never verbally declared his faith. For most of her life, my mother didn’t either. Late in life as her health faltered, her conversations turned to God.

She thought her suffering as a widow took the place of a Hell she deserved. Her thinking went like this–“these years are miserable because God lets me suffer here so I won’t have to suffer later. Later, I can go to Heaven.”

I was glad she had her heart set on Heaven, but to get there, she didn’t need to live in misery. She would listen to the Gospel many times, eager to find peace. Sometimes she’d get on her knees and surrender to Christ with words, only to tell me she’s still not at peace.

Finally she spilled what was holding her back-“If the Gospel is true,” she said, “then your father is in Hell.”

We both sat with that thought laying out in the open between us.

Through the ages people have pondered this question: But what about really good people you’ve prayed and prayed over, but who never openly claimed Christ as their Savior?

The Apostle Peter in 2 Peter 3:9 (ESV) tells us to trust God’s timing and not give up the Hope He gives us:

“The Lord is not slow to fulfill his promise as some count slowness, but is patient toward you, not wishing that any should perish, but that all should reach repentance.”

In other words, you can trust God and His timing. Fortunately, we aren’t the ones who get to judge others. The role of Judge is reserved only the Lord Himself who completely knew your husband’s heart desire for Him and what to reveal to meet it.

I held up my mother’s wounded doubt to the light. “How do you know he didn’t get it in the end?” I asked my mother.

She lifted her eyes with hope.

“Do you not think God is capable of anything?” I asked. “Just a few days before he died, he was talking about a preacher on the radio. You never know. God may have placed that preacher there to cause him to think, pray, turn things over to Him.”

My mother nodded in silence. And with just that little nugget of hope, she soon stepped through the threshold between doubt and confusion to belief and salvation. She lived out her years with the peace of knowing who she is in Christ. She still missed my dad, but I saw Joy in her too as she enjoyed her children and grandchildren.

Was your husband a seeker like my Tom? Was he an independent soul like my father who didn’t show interest in a relationship with Christ to us? Unpack it, sister. Don’t let the doubts about where your husband is create a wall between you and the Father in Heaven Who wants you to hang out with Him daily!

Dear Jesus,

Show my sister that she’s precious and real and can trust You with EVERYTHING–even the fate of her beloved. Amen.