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And they sat with him on the ground seven days and seven nights, and no one spoke a word to him, for they saw that his suffering was very great.
Job 2:13 (ESV)

Have you had to overlook some faux pas— some words that well-meaning folks think are supposed to help, but only add salt to the wound? “God needed him more in Heaven” or “you’ll find someone new” are only a couple of the not-so-good choices of words to comfort a grieving widow. You learn to give grace with those who trip on their own rakes, so to speak.

But when you really need comfort, don’t you appreciate those loved ones who get that they need say nothing but to just be with you and understand?

I know Lisa Beamer understood this. Her husband Todd died courageously on September 11, 2001. He died foiling the terrorists’ plans to possibly crash a jetliner into our nation’s White House. I recall reading Lisa Beamer’s book, Let’s Roll, about that awful night when she learned of Todd’s death.

She sat in her dark bedroom in deep pain, avoiding the many words of many well-meaning friends. One sweet believing Christian friend sat by her side and… said. absolutely. nothing. Just quietly kept watch and prayed as Lisa let the reality of her loss settle over her.

Do you have a friend who will do this for you? If so, let her know what a sweet salve she is to you.

Job had friends like this. Through no fault of his own, Job’s beautiful life was stripped to rags. Satan was doing all he could to prove to God that Job would cave in to the temptation to reject God in anger.

His friends loved him and wanted to show him he’s not alone. As the Word says:

“They sat with him on the ground seven days and seven nights, and no one spoke a word to him, for they saw that his suffering was very great.“
Job 2:13 (ESV)

These friends get a lot of grief from commentators. Once they stopped their silence and began to “counsel” Job, God rebuked them. Their well-meaning words were way off the mark from His truth. These friends, like all of us, can miss the mark at times. But let’s focus on a moment at the full week of silence these friends gave to Job. During this week, they simply sat with him and said nothing. Imagine that in today’s time. Would a friend actually stop their life enough to sit with you quietly for seven days? Maybe not, but take the time to drink in the love of a friend who can sit with you in silence even for an hour.

And for those who have perhaps tried to help with the wrong words, forgive them. Love them for the intentions they had using their own attempts at healing words. Many in this world aren’t equipped with the righteousness given by our Lord Jesus Christ. They try, with only the world’s tools at hand, to help in situations that call for far more spiritual tools.

I have to admit, I had to ignore a lot of comments that could have added more salt to my wound of loss and just consider the sweet intention that was meant by the words. Thank God for the friends who just listen.

Lord, please pour blessings upon our sisters. Please encourage those who don’t know how to help someone with a fresh loss. Bring comforters to the widows. People who simply sit at their side to help them know they are not alone as they process and mourn the loss of their loved one. Amen