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Let your eyes look straight ahead,
fix your gaze directly before you.
Proverbs 4:25 (NIV)

A couple of years after my husband went home to heaven, and I was struggling to move forward, I sensed God telling me that I needed to quit living my life looking in the rearview mirror. His still, small voice reminded me that I can’t drive my car that way so why was I trying to live my life that way.

My drive to work takes me over back roads with little or no traffic so one day I decided to give it a try. Once I got to a straight section in the road, I slowed down and locked my eyes on my car’s rearview mirror. The view behind me was well-defined albeit diminished due to the size of the mirror.

My peripheral vision enabled me to see somewhat where I was going on the road or if another car was coming, but not well enough to make accurate adjustments in my driving. It also wasn’t good enough for me to see any sudden dangers such as any wildlife that might jump out from the side of the road. This meant I had to drive a lot slower. Consequently, it would take me longer to get where I was going.

Something else notable in my experiment was I was missing all the beauty around and in front of me. I couldn’t enjoy it until it was in my rearview mirror.

It didn’t take long for me to realize this was no way to drive my car.

If I wanted to get to work on time I had to put my focus on looking forward.

Likewise, it didn’t take me long to see the application of this driving experiment to my life as a widow.

It became clear that this was no way to live my life!

It was like God was saying, “I have a plan and a future for you but it’s going to take you forever to get there this way”. I could almost hear him chuckle.

I could spend the rest of my life looking in the rearview mirror pining and whining for the life I had with my husband but it was not going to change anything. My husband would still be in heaven and I would still be miserable.

Or I could choose to trust in God’s plans for me…“plans to prosper [me] and not to harm [me], plans to give [me] hope and a future. (Jeremiah 29:11)

The choice was mine to make.

The lessons I learned that day was a turning point for me. In order to move forward, I had to live my life looking through the “windshield” instead of the “rearview mirror”.

I had to focus on what was ahead, not what was behind me.

God reassured me that, just as driving requires an occasional glance in the rearview mirror, it was ok to look back and remember. I just couldn’t live there!

It’s been slow progress but a step forward, no matter how small, is a step in the right direction.

Father, this journey is hard and we weren’t ready to relinquish our life with our husbands. Would you please remind us gently to keep looking forward and to trust your plans for us. And when we take a glance in the rearview mirror, may the memories be a sweet, sweet vision.