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“… behold, there was at his head a cake baked on hot stones and a jar of water.”
1 King 19:4-5 (ESV)

It’s not wrong to grieve.

That sounds obvious. But how often do we tell ourselves be joyful and trust God, all the while pushing back tears?

Our culture sometimes makes Christianity look like a happy club. The Gospel can be distorted to make you wrongly think that tears and despair indicate something is wrong with your faith!

Nonsense. Let no one tell you not to grieve.

I had a glorious life planned with Tom.

We would grow old together. I would help Tom raise my stepchildren and sacrifice for the sake of his fledgling ecommerce business. It would pay off as the ecommerce market exploded, and Tom and I would live long lives and ride off into the sunset.

Tom never got to see the ecommerce market explode. He didn’t get to see all his kids grow up. And when I found myself at forty-four, widowed with four small children, I wondered, why? Didn’t I obey God? Wasn’t Tom a great husband and father? Why didn’t it work the way we expected?

Maybe you feel that way. Whether you lost your husband at forty-four or seventy-four, you expected more time—a sort of heaven on earth with him. It didn’t happen, did it?

You know who else felt that way?

The prophet Elijah.

He dedicated everything to convince Israel to return to God and stop following Baal. After he challenged Baal worshipers by calling on God to set fire to a bowl doused with water, the people chanted “…the Lord, he is God.” (1King 18:39 (ESV)) What a pinnacle success to Elijah’s efforts! Can you imagine his expectation for Israel’s future?

His next action confirmed that expectation. He went to Ahab—the king who earlier sought to kill Elijah. Elijah believed Ahab would now support his mission to turn Israel towards God.

How wrong he was! Ahab’s wife Jezebel threatened Elijah and ran him out of town.

Elijah collapsed in the wilderness, crying, “… enough; now, O Lord, take away my life, for I am no better than my fathers.” 1King 19:4 (ESV)

Can you imagine his let down?

I can. I bet you can too.

We too lived our lives with purpose. We expected a happily-ever-after. Instead, here we are.

Is it wrong to grieve what you thought you’d have?

God doesn’t think so.

Look how He responded to Elijah.

He didn’t chastise Elijah as a bad believer. He sent an angel with food and drink.

“… behold, there was at his head a cake baked on hot stones and a jar of water.”
(1King 19:4-5 (ESV))

Sister, don’t shame yourself when you cry. I recall a widow saying, “I have to stop crying, so I can be a light to others.” Imagine her painfully put-on smiles.

It only took weeks of cheerfully displaying her “joy in the Lord” before she collapsed on my couch in tears of confusion. She loved God so much. How could she not find joy?

God never told us being Christian keeps us from harm’s way or that we’d feel so joyful we could hop over seasons of grief.

Rather, he tells us to rejoice in our suffering. Through suffering we understand and comfort others with the grace of Jesus.

Maybe that sounds a bit daunting to you. You didn’t ask for this. Must you rejoice in it?

Not on your own. Give your pain over to Christ. Let Him grieve with you and show you what purpose He has in allowing you to have this experience.

When you understand the suffering of others, you too can encourage them…

… to let no one tell them not to grieve.

Lord, I know You have work for my sister to do. Encourage her to get her tears out, so she can serve You with a genuinely healed heart. Amen.