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One of the things that has helped me as I journeyed the path of grief is music, specifically contemporary Christian music. More than one time I have heard a song over the airways of my radio and felt as though God intentionally turned up the volume to get my attention.

One evening driving home, lost in my thoughts, I didn’t pay attention to the radio. Suddenly a song came on loud and clear!

It was as if God sent that song over the airwaves just for me.

It was more than a year since my husband’s passing and I was struggling with what to do next; what would make this all better. All I wanted to do was to do SOMETHING, anything to make the pain go away. I had cried out to the Lord numerous times, and I was beginning to think God had forgotten me. This song, Still, by Hilary Scott, reminded me that He was parting waters and making a way for me; He was still in control and His faithfulness could be trusted. All I needed to do was to be STILL! (Psalm 46:10)

I needed to be content in the waiting and the trusting.

Not an easy assignment for someone who needs all the answers and likes her ducks all in a neat little row.

That’s where Lauren Dangle’s song, Trust in You, ministered to my heart. She reminded me that even when God doesn’t give me answers to my questions, or move the mountains in front of me, my response should always be, “I will trust in You”.

Sometimes placing our trust in God is an absolute act of our own will.

We get discouraged and think that God has deserted us. It is in those times when we must dig our heels in and proclaim the truths we know about God. Lauren’s song reminded me of a few:

• He is my strength and comfort (Psalm 73:26 NIV)
• He is my firm foundation (1 Corinthians 3:11 NIV)
• The rock on which I stand (Psalm 18:2 NIV)
• His ways are always higher (Isaiah 55:8-9 NIV)
• His plans are always good (Romans 8:28 NIV & Jeremiah 29:11 NIV)
• There’s not a place where I’ll go that He hasn’t already stood (Deuteronomy 31:8 NIV)

Another song that hit very close to home with me was Danny Gokey’s, “I Will Not Say Goodbye”.

Written shortly after the death of his first wife, Danny sings of the raw emotions of grief.

He boldly proclaims,

“I will laugh, I will cry, shake my fist at the sky but I will not say goodbye”

Oh how the lyrics said what I often could not. There were many things I knew I had to do, but like Danny, one thing I refused to do was say goodbye.

Thanks to Jesus’ work on the cross and His resurrection from the dead, I do not have to say goodbye!

I can rest in the assurance that I will see my husband again someday. I will always miss him, but there is joy in knowing that this isn’t goodbye. It’s ‘See you later!’

In the meantime, I will be thankful for the years I spent with Vic, for all the memories we made, for all the joy he brought me, and for all the love we shared! It’s not easy, but it’s what God is asking me to do, and it’s what my husband would want me to do as well. Perhaps there I’ll find my joy, my desire to go on, and maybe as Danny Gokey says in another song…Let My Heart Beat Again.

What is God asking you to do in your grief?

When you are discouraged, what truths about God can you remember?

What raw emotions did you express at the height of your sorrow?

Have you learned to laugh, find joy, and maybe even told your heart to beat again?

Lord, my prayer for my widow sisters is that You would make Your presence so vividly clear that they hear Your voice as You guide them through the shadowed valley of death. May the songs I’ve included in this devotion minister to them as they have to me. Lord, be near my sisters and open their hearts to joy again! Amen