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It was early in my grief journey; grief had me paralyzed as I struggled to find purpose in a life without my husband.

Suddenly a Monarch butterfly fluttered around in front of me. In awe of its beauty, I watched that butterfly flutter and fly in front of me as though it had no care in the world. I thought to myself how wonderful it would be to be as carefree as that butterfly. I immediately felt God’s presence in my spirit assuring me that I would indeed become a beautiful butterfly, but it was a process.

For the last couple of months, I have been sharing with you the journey through a butterfly’s metamorphosis.

This month I want to focus on the last stage – the beautiful butterfly!

We pick up the process at the end of the chrysalis stage where the caterpillar has hidden in a protective casing. It is within these safe walls that transformation has taken place. When the time is right the butterfly will use all its energy to push its way out of the chrysalis. When it does, its wings are crumpled and nowhere near flight-ready. The butterfly needs to pump its wings full of fluids from its body to straighten them out. The wings, wet and flimsy, require several hours to harden and dry before the butterfly can take flight. Even then the butterfly is not used to its new form or even realizes that it can fly. Eventually, it will realize its capabilities and off it will go!

Have you made any connections to your grief journey?

Let me share what I have found in my personal story.

When I was in the darkest crevices of grief, a cocoon of its own, the only peace I found was in the “cocoon” of God’s presence. It was here that I could fall to pieces as I languished in the pain of loss so deep I didn’t know how to go on living. Through His word and His Spirit, I was continuously being renewed and transformed as I worked through my grief.

…those who trust the Lord
will find new strength.
They will be strong like eagles
soaring upward on wings;
Psalm 40:31 (CEV)

I admit the cocoon of grief became sort of comfortable. It was what I knew. But I also knew that I couldn’t stay there forever.

I believe there comes a time when as a widow we will have walked through the phases of grief and it will be time to move forward from that cocoon and explore new horizons.

I am nearing the sixth anniversary of my husband’s passing and I admit it’s been a struggle to move forward. For a while, it felt wrong because I equated it with forgetting him. The pain kept me connected to him. But in order to fly, I had to accept the reality of my place in life. I was a widow. Nothing I said or did could ever change that fact. I also knew that this is not how my husband would want me to live. It was ok to break free from my cocoon of grief. With a renewed perspective and God’s strength, I began to push my way out.

The beautiful butterfly stage has a main purpose—to reproduce.

Along my grief journey, I realized how anemic the church and its members were in its call to care for orphans and widows. It was there that I surrendered this journey to the Lord to use me as an ambassador to not only other widows but to churches as well.

In the process, God brought me to A Widows Might as a writer and team member, and this fall, along with a team of ladies, I will launch a widow’s ministry within my church and to our community. My wings are spread and just about dry. I believe I will be taking flight soon!

You, too, have a purpose!

This is not the end… just the beginning of something new and, dare I say, maybe even exciting. Spread your wings and fly!

Maybe like me, the Lord will lead you to other widows who need what you needed in your grief. By sharing your stories, walking beside, and praying for and with other widows, you can help them find their purpose, reclaim their hope, and learn to fly!

Lord, Your word tells us that there is “a time to weep and a time to laugh; A time to mourn and a time to dance.” Would you please help us to know what time it is? And help us to fly again! Amen