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“The heart of man plans his way,
but the Lord establishes his steps.”
Proverbs 16:9 (ESV)

I find joy in ordering my life according to what the Lord wants me to prioritize. But that hasn’t always come easily. When my life turned upside down after losing my husband, I felt unsure which way to go next. Yet in every season, God has been faithful to whisper what matters most and what I can peacefully let go of. Just as Proverbs reminds me, “The heart of (a woman) plans (her) way, but the Lord establishes (her) steps.”

When I listen, He shows me what to hold onto and what to release.

Choosing His priorities over my own always leads to joy. The truth of that has carried me through my years of raising children alone and starting a ministry. God gave me such clarity in that season. He called me to raise boys in His ways in a home filled with love, laughter, and faith. And he nudged me to use my writing and business background to launch this ministry and build a team of Christian widows to minister through writing, speaking, and conferences.

These callings came at the cost of having a good income or that “picture-perfect” organized home, but what joy it’s been to see Christ touch lives through it! Four boys under one roof meant plenty of noise and energy, and working while raising them didn’t leave room for much beyond spending time with the Lord. But He is good to give me the peace about releasing what I couldn’t fit in.

Because now that my boys are grown, I’m grateful for the men they’ve become—and I don’t regret that my house was sometimes a joyful, chaotic mess! Ecclesiastes 3:1 says,

“For everything there is a season,
and a time for every matter under heaven.”

While I was in the middle of that mess, I often claimed the truth of those words. I was helping God shape the hearts of young men and encourage other widows. What an adventurous purpose that was!

When one season ends, God reveals the next

As my nest grew quieter, I sensed Him shifting my priorities again, this time towards caring wisely for the blessings He’s given me. He gently guided me to hand the ministry over to Sheryl, our amazing leader, so it could continue to flourish in new ways, and I could follow His prompting to build more financial independence.

I asked Him where to start and felt no leading back to my engineering or management consulting pasts. God had other plans.

A friend introduced me to a modest teaching opportunity with low pay and with uncomfortable early-morning hours! But the Lord whispered, Trust Me. I loved teaching, and step by step, He opened better doors. I eventually built a thriving freelance education business. Now I pour into teenagers just as I poured into my own children and into ministry. The Lord had prepared me for this work all along!

Building that business was hard work, especially during COVID, where isolating long hours sometimes brought me to tears. But even in those lonely, quiet moments of work, God comforted this natural extrovert through His Word:

“You make known to me the path of life;
in your presence there is fullness of joy”
Psalm 16:11 (ESV)

God’s new priority for my spiritual, physical, and emotional well-being

Now with my business established, the Lord gave me a new priority—one that fills my heart with joy each time I lean into it. He’s calling me to be healthy and whole so I can serve Him fully. That means staying connected through daily devotions, prayer, and fellowship—but also learning to rest, to move my body, and to nurture friendships that refresh my soul.

It’s a work in progress. I lose the weight I want, then realize my eating habits still need work. I lift weights and smile at the new bump on my bicep, only to get a bit of tendonitis and need to rest. But just as I raised my boys in a home that wasn’t always tidy, or built my business through tearful effort in isolation, I know progress on His new goals doesn’t have to mean perfection. I rest now on the Lord’s promise in Matthew 6:33 (ESV):

“But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.”

Lord, help these ladies to not take as long as I took to learn Your truth- that letting You set priorities makes for a very fulfilled, happy life, even after being widowed. Amen.