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When the angel of the Lord appeared to Gideon, he said, “The Lord is with you, mighty warrior.”

“Pardon me, my lord,” Gideon replied, “but if the Lord is with us, why has all this happened to us? Where are all his wonders that our ancestors told us about when they said, ‘Did not the Lord bring us up out of Egypt?’ But now the Lord has abandoned us and given us into the hand of Midian.”

The Lord turned to him and said, “Go in the strength you have and save Israel out of Midian’s hand. Am I not sending you?”

“Pardon me, my lord,” Gideon replied, “but how can I save Israel? … ”

The Lord answered, “I will be with you…”
Judges 6:12-16

Lord, if you were with me, why have all these bad things happened to us? Or have you not noticed?I certainly felt abandoned by God during a dark time in my life.

My story here today isn’t so much relating to the death of my husband, although that is huge, but what preceded that event. I went through nearly two years of struggling with my faith during the time just before my husband passed away. I felt like God had abandoned me, even as I continued attending Bible study and church and reading a devotional with my family around the dinner table.

Inside I was dying.

Why had God abandoned me when I needed Him most? I was hiding like Gideon in the passage above. I felt I was in a pit that was created by someone else’s decisions. I was hiding from the promises of Scripture.

But it seemed God was calling to me, “Greetings Warrior Princess. “

Warrior Princess? I looked around me to see if anyone else was sitting next to me! I didn’t FEEL like a warrior or a princess. I felt defeated and lost.

I was dealing with my own enemies – doubting God’s love, dealing with unbelief and anger, and faking my happiness so no one would know of my pain. Our enemies might not be something we see with our physical eyes, but we sense with our souls. We all have “enemies” from whom we hide.

Gideon could not fight any of the Midians while he was hiding. He could not lead a group of warriors and wasn’t fit for battle.

When I struggle with my faith, I have trouble singing praise songs or fighting the attacks of Satan. My armor is off, and I get stuck in the response that Gideon gave when he was questioning the Angel of the Lord. “Why?”

I return to the point where I say, like Job, The Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away; blessed be the Name of the Lord. (Job 1:21). It may seem simplistic, but I have to go back to what I KNOW to be true about God, regardless of my circumstances. Ladies, that is tough to do sometimes.

Feelings are so deceptive. I did not feel loved or blessed or happy.

God’s next response is so wonderful. “And I will be with you.”

Sister, that is God’s response to you and me today– God will be with _(your name here)_____. Hebrews 13:5 is a verse I learned as a young child, using my five fingers to point to – I will never leave you! He reminded Joshua over and over – just like God was with Moses, He will be with Joshua. Return to the promises of Scripture – God IS with us! He hasn’t left us!

Father God, Guide me as I go in Your strength to fight the enemy. Remind me that this is Your battle and not my own. You will go with me. Help me not to dwell on the past and on the feelings that can’t be trusted. Keep my mind focused on the Truth of Scripture. Amen