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It is the Lord who goes before you. He will be with you; he will not leave you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed.
Deuteronomy 31:8 ESV

I’ve heard that it’s common for new widows to become ill. Which makes sense of course, because we haven’t been resting well, eating right, exercising or probably drinking enough. Not too long after my husband Jeff died, I came down with a terrible stomach bug. Normally, this would have been something I would have gone through without much thought. But after several “episodes” in the bathroom a slight panic started to set in. How long will this last? What if I’m dehydrated? What if I get too weak and fall? I calmed myself down, prayed and called a friend for Gatorade. After a couple of days, things had improved.

“I sought the Lord, and He answered me; He delivered me from all my fears.”
Psalm 34:4

My husband died after a six-and-a-half year battle with a blood cancer called multiple myeloma. He was a great patient and it was my honor to help care for him during his illness. Not matter what he was going through, he rarely complained and almost always had a smile.

Looking back to my care giving days, I don’t ever remember having the thought of “who is going to take care of me someday?” Now he’s gone and I’m realizing I don’t like being sick by myself! It’s frightening. I’ve had minor health issues including a scary event with a kidney stone. With each episode though, I’m learning to cry out even more to the Lord. He has reminded me over and over that I am not alone.

Recently, I had to have a medical procedure done as an outpatient. I couldn’t believe it was me going through it. God had filled me with unbelievable peace, His Peace. Sure, I still hated the fact that Jeff wasn’t by my side at the hospital. But God was by my side and He supplied friends and family to be there too.

“Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your heart be troubled and do not be afraid.”
John 14:27

Even now as I write this, I am facing some health uncertainties, but I am trying to hold on to His promises, His promises of faithfulness and peace.

Lord, help me to remember that you are with me no matter what. Whatever I face, You have gone before me; You are walking beside me and coming up behind me. You have told me not to be fearful, but to hold onto Your right hand. Thank You that I am Your beloved. Amen