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The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.
John 10:10 (ESV)
“When I was six, my dad would have me sit on his back as he swam under the water across the pool. One day, I climbed on his back and he didn’t move…”
My son’s English essay had my eyes welling with tears. I longed to go back and change our family’s afternoon plans that dreadful Sunday in 2007 so my son and his three brothers wouldn’t be eyewitnesses to their father’s massive coronary. I can’t change history, but I can appreciate how we’ve chosen to grab hold of joy in the face of our loss.
Trauma is an effective tool of the enemy.
What better way “…to steal, kill and destroy” (John 10:10 ESV) than to take a man’s death and work its trauma into the minds of his wife and children for years to come. Naturally, a child’s mind will repress the pain of trauma until he can deal with it. Meanwhile deep down he’s aware something dramatically wounded him.
Eventually emotional reactions reflect the internal pain as grief rises to the surface. I’ve navigated spurts of anger, phobias, and anxiety attacks with realistic remembrances of their father’s distorted face deprived of oxygen.
Would trauma steal the joy from our family?
I worried our family would lose joy by losing my joyful husband. People laughed, and children frolicked and wrestled around Tom. He embodied contagious goodness and laughter.
Without him to lighten the mood, life took on a more serious air. I obsessed over the house and hovered over details of the children’s upbringing. Heaven forbid I mess up these kids God entrusted me with!
I felt walls of isolation gradually closing in. Ah…the enemy is an expert at inflicting wounds!
Grab hold of joy!
My passel of boys, on the other hand, grabbed hold of joy. It was as if I had four little Toms running about, laughing, wrestling and inventing games, all in the frolicsome spirit of their father.
Their playful approach carried into inventive projects. One coded video games. Another composed music. They even built a real rollercoaster in our 3-car garage just for fun!
I had a “tiger-by-the-tail”. All I could do was grab hold of the joy and let go of checking all the boxes of a super-mom. I often left the mess and stopped rushing the children to be on time. The result was surprising joy and such added energy I was able to invest into building A Widow’s Might into a national ministry.
“The best childhood ever!”
The rest of my son’s essay revealed how his fun-seeking family gave him the best possible start in life. Because he practiced joy over all these years, goodness, self-control and all of the other fruits now come easily.
He finished his essay with two truths I often hear him say.
“I had the best childhood” is the first. Can you imagine? In spite of losing his father, his joy and liveliness aided our family’s healing.
“I’m excited for the future!” is the second. He should be! He’s 18 with interests, passions, the confidence of Christ and the love of his family.
How about you? Can you overcome loss with gratitude and excitement? The fact that God still has you here is no accident. He wants you filled with excitement in life. Grab hold of it!
Lord,
Help these sisters see truth in their circumstances. Give them joy in knowing You have abundance here for them. Give them back what the enemy tried to steal! Amen.