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Tears were streaming down my face in the shower. I was forgetting things about my late husband. It had been nearly four years, but seemed like much longer. We lived in a home I mortgaged, drove a car I purchased, and ate dinner whenever I chose (actually, whenever the kids could fit it in their busy schedules!). Our lives no longer revolved around a dad who worked a nine-to-five job, helped with homework, or involved us in his hobbies or sports interests.
Every birthday of my children is a reminder. My husband and I made the choice to do the birth of our kids alone (without an “audience” of friends or family) and now I had no one to discuss the details of their births. I missed that. Was it a hard birth? Were there funny events that happened there? I couldn’t remember and that made me sad. As my children have gotten older, they ask for details about their births. That’s when I have to say to them, “Sorry, guys. I was on pain meds and don’t really remember much…” I jokingly make up silly details that are not true just to give them something to smile about. Humor has been our way of dealing with grief.
One day the “forgetting” hit me hard. I quickly shot off a text to several friends. “Please send me a memory of Mark – like the first thing that comes to mind. I need some help remembering him. Thanks.”
Most of my friends reacted quickly. One sent a funny memory from youth group when he was a sponsor and she was a student, another sent a more recent memory, and a husband and wife each sent separately the same memory! One memory texted to me was something I didn’t even know about. They were each such refreshment to my soul.
It was like a cool glass of lemonade on a hot summer day. Like warm fluffy socks on a cold evening.
Remembering is important. God told the Israelites to do it often. Remember the Egyptians. The Sabbath. Or the commandments. Remember the past. They were to talk about it often. God’s statutes were shared by parents talking about them with their children. Many of these parents may have remembered the stories of the wilderness years. Remembering can be a good thing. It was God’s way of teaching the Israelites much of the time.
You shall teach them to your children, talking of them when you are sitting in your house, and when you are walking by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise.
Deuteronomy 11:19 (ESV)
Remembering is important in our lives as well. We must remember God’s faithfulness in our lives, We need to turn to Scripture and say, “God, point me to Your faithfulness in this passage today.” I want to be reminded of His goodness and faithfulness in past circumstances.
God has given us His Word, written by forty people over 1500 years, that NEVER fades away. We can remember His faithfulness, His promises, His grace and mercy, and His compassions which are new every morning. God’s Word has stood the test of time. We can count on it to be true, reliable, convicting, and encouraging.
The grass withers, the flower fades,
but the word of our God will stand forever.
Isaiah 40:8 (ESV)
Heaven and earth will pass away, but my words will not pass away.
Matthew 24:35 (ESV)
Do you ever struggle remembering God’s love in the midst of deep grief? You can always turn to His Word to find the reminders you need. It is better than a text from a friend – it is His true and everlasting words right before you.
Lord, help us spend time in Your Word so we can share these words with someone who needs encouragement today. And remind us of a sweet memory of our husbands. Thank You that Your Word never fades away. Amen