{{item.title | uppercase}}

She gave this name to the LORD who spoke to her: “You are the God who sees me,” for she said, “I have now seen the One who sees me.”
Genesis 16:13 (NIV)

Those first few weeks after my husband was killed are a blur, but I do remember the desperate panic I had to alleviate the pain. I would have done anything for relief. So when one of my pastors invited me to go feed the homeless in downtown Dallas just six weeks after his death, I said yes without the slightest bit of hesitation.

Recognizing the feeling.

But when we pulled up to the fenced-in lot in the heart of downtown, in the pitch dark at 6:30 am, sheer panic set in. What was I thinking? I had nothing, and I mean NOTHING to give. It wasn’t safe to sit in the car, and I had ridden with someone, so I couldn’t go home. I was terrified that I was going to pass out or crumple to the ground.

And then I heard that quiet voice in my spirit tell me what to do. Go over and serve food. And as you serve the food, look them in the eye and tell them, “I am so happy to see you.” And then, suddenly, I was reminded of a book I had read about a year before that talked about how the homeless feel invisible. My next thought was “Oh, I can relate to that. As a widow, I feel invisible too.”

Why widows feel invisible.

I think we feel invisible any time a lot is going on inside that people don’t know about or know how to relate to. Early in my journey, I was constantly processing how I was feeling, how I was going to respond in different situations, whether or not I could control my emotions, etc. I was also thinking about the millions of things that I needed to take care of, but did not know how or what to do.

Sometimes I felt invisible because I needed help with various things, but people didn’t recognize that I needed help. I needed help with things I’d never done before, and I needed help with the simple things – because I constantly felt like I was running a marathon through quicksand.

And then there were the EXPECTATIONS that got in the way of asking for help. The expectation that I could pick myself up by the bootstraps, be strong and courageous, all while trusting I could do ALL things through Christ who gives me strength. And aren’t you supposed to be finished with this grief thing by now? Not living up to the expectations meant I had failed. Failed as a human and even worse, failed as a Christian.

With all that going on in my head, it’s no wonder I felt invisible to others.

Having compassion for those who feel invisible

Fortunately, the same God who saw Hagar in the wilderness sees us in our wilderness. (Read Genesis 16) for Hagar’s story. God loved and cared for Hagar, the same as He does for us. He cares for everyone who feels unseen. I have thought a lot lately about those in the widows group who tend to be even more invisible. The widows who were struggling in their marriage, or were in the process of divorce, or maybe recently divorced. Where do they go for support? Who listens to them as they process all the complicated feelings they are going through? If Hagar’s story teaches us anything, God’s love and faithfulness is for everyone. Think about it. Hagar is one of the few who saw God and recognized that it was Him. A lowly servant girl, cast out, not married to the father, having a child outside of God’s plan, alone in the wilderness. And God shows up, cares for her, and blesses her. If that is God’s character, why are we so quick to dismiss others who are in difficult circumstances?

So sweet sisters, let us be mindful of those God puts in our path who may be feeling invisible also. Let us show God’s love to everyone regardless of circumstances.

Dear Heavenly Father, thank you for Your unfailing love for each and every one of us. Help us to see those around us who are feeling invisible and help us to show up, just as You did with Hagar. We love you so much, and our heart desires to honor You always. Amen.