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What are you afraid of?

This was the question asked at church one Sunday. I’ve written about fear before and the hold that it had over my life; fear of everything – from being in a dark place alone to driving – had found a place to camp out in my mind for months.

Today Jesus has restored me, and that all-consuming, overwhelming fear is no longer in control. However, because we’ve experienced the horrific, worry and fear can often creep back in. It can sound a little different but something like this: “You’ll never get through this. This will never work out how you planned. What if something happens to my child? What if I’m widowed again? How will I pay my bills without my husband here?”

Losing my son and my husband Keith.

Those are my fears today – fears that can keep me up at night. And because my worst fear happened seven years ago, I know it’s not just a thought.

But when we let worry and fear take control, we aren’t trusting in the ONE who controls it all.

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”
Philippians 4:6-7 (NIV)

The truth is, there are thousands of things in this life that we could worry about. But that takes away joy from the present – joy that the Lord wants us to find in Him. For me, fear and worry visit when I’m trying to control everything in my own strength.

When worry and fear follow us, this is what the Lord wants us to remember:

He is in control of our life.

“Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.”
Psalm 139:16

We have free will, but no matter the choices we make, God is still in control.

“In their hearts, humans plan their course, but the Lord establishes their steps.”
Proverbs 16:9 (NIV)

God has a plan for us all.

“In him we were also chosen, having been predestined according to the plan of him who works out everything in conformity with the purpose of his will, on order that we, who were the first to put our hope in Christ, might be for the praise of his glory.”
Ephesians 1:11-12 (NIV)

We do not always understand His plan, but trust it is for His glory and our good.

“’or my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,’ declares the Lord.”
Isaiah 55:8 (NIV)

He is sovereign, always.

“’I am the Alpha and the Omega,’ says the Lord God, ‘who is, and who was, and who is to come, the Almighty.’”
Revelation 1:8

Rest in the assurance that God has already covered what we are trying so hard to control. This life isn’t for us to figure out on our own. The invitation is to rely on God, fix our eyes on Him and trust that He is enough.

As we step forward in this journey of widowhood, when we feel powerless and afraid, let us focus our eyes on the Lord and remember His faithfulness in the past, allowing us to trust Him in the future. Let this be our prayer through it all.

“… We have no power … we do not know what to do, but our eyes are on you.”
2 Chronicles 20:12 (NIV)

Lord, when we go through deep waters, when we feel powerless and afraid, help us to keep our eyes on You. Thank You for Your power, strength, and goodness. Amen.