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Father’s Day can be a very tough day.

Just as each of our relationships with our husbands was unique and special, so is our treatment of this day, even among the writing team. We wanted to share some of the ways our team members have dealt with this day over the years. We hope and pray our plans will help you determine how the Lord would have you spend this special day.

Know we will be praying for you!

Lori: My husband did many things very well, but, when it came to fatherhood, he was exceptional! The kids and I sat down and discussed how best to honor Dad this weekend. We may take our bikes over to a trail that Tim loved biking on with the kids. While there, we will write thank you notes to God and to Tim and release them on balloons to symbolize us taking a step forward and releasing some of our fears and frustrations; turning those emotions instead into gratitude for the years we did have with an amazing earthly daddy.

Elizabeth: The first year, we bought what we were planning to buy for Dad anyway. We all went shopping for a new grill. He had wanted one for several years and we hadn’t taken the time or money to do it. Over years, my oldest son has perfected his art of grilling for the family. We are taking one year at a time.

Leah: This Father’s Day, our family will celebrate those special dads in our lives by having a low-key day together – knowing that there are many children without a daddy (and a mommy), and we give God glory for allowing Chris’ dream of parenting through adoption to still come to fruition…even if it looks a little different than we may have originally planned.

Jill: On the Saturday before Father’s day we take time to honor both grandfathers. On Father’s Day itself, we spend the day together as a family. We go to David’s favorite restaurant, get our family’s favorite appetizer and go to the movies or watch one of our favorite family movies at home.

Erika: The kids and I use Father’s Day to honor all the men in our lives who love, care, and help us. These men are the kids’ grandpas and uncles. Father’s Day will probably always evolve and look a bit different each year. I believe the most important thing is to do what fits you and your children best. It should honor God and those you love and be something that brings all of you comfort and peace.

Remember, regardless of our loss, regardless of our pain, regardless of our unease about this day, we have a Father in Heaven Who loves us more than we can ever imagine. May you bask in His love today.

Kit: I have always believed Father’s Day to be particularly important for children who have lost their father–why? Because it’s an opportunity for the surviving mother to recall for them the elements of who their daddy was–those particular elements that model Christ for them. For me with boys, I’ve intentionally used Father’s Day to turn it into Brother’s Day– using that day to write a letter to each boy recalling over the past year the ways I’ve seen them grow and mature into the Christ-like man that Dad was. That not only gives them recognition and something to look forward to but also reinforces the parts of Dad that model Christ for them.

Linda: The first Father’s Day for us came about a month after my husband passed. My daughter and I spent some time together – we got frozen yogurt and shared memories about him. The second Father’s Day was a bit easier – she decided to spend the day alone using all of his power tools to build a piece of furniture – and that gave me such joy – knowing that she had inherited her dad’s talent and was using those tools on that particular day! As the initial raw pain of my loss is beginning to subside, the wonderful memories of specific occurrences are starting to surface.

Rene: We have kept Father’s Day fairly low-key. The first year after John’s death, the boys did each make a small gift for their dad that we took out and laid on his headstone. Then we went to lunch somewhere we thought he would have liked.

Nancy: My younger son wants to get balloons to release to Heaven for his dad. I will encourage them to attach notes to them, and we will read them aloud before releasing them.

Liz Anne: On this day that honors fathers, we instead choose to focus on what we do have, not what we have lost. And that is truly a lot! Every year, my boys have cards for the men at church whom God has convicted to be part of our lives. The boys get really excited, dashing around the church looking for each of the men. They welcome them with a big hug and present the cards. They even fight over who gets to give cards to which man. The men were touched. One of our friends even got a bit teary, as did I a few times.

Sisters, like any other milestone on this journey, take it before the Lord. There is no right or wrong answer. Ask Him how you are to spend the day. He loves you and will see you through. We are praying for you!