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I recently heard a heartbreaking story about a Mom who lost her three-year-old boy in a tragic accident, when he ran out in front of a car. This beautiful boy was her only child. I looked online through the condolences people were leaving and my heart was even more heavy for her.

Many times I saw the common “Christiany” answer: “He’s safe in the arms of Jesus now.”

While that certainly can be a comforting thought, I could imagine this grieving mother reading that sentence thinking, “Yes, but I want him in MY arms. He’s MY baby.”

From common answers like “It’s all a part of Gods plan” to “Your husband received the ultimate healing“, people said the same things to me in my loss. I can understand they think they are being comforting, but honestly, it felt far from comforting. In some ways their attempt at comfort seemed like a slap in the face, almost a belittling of the extreme pain I was walking through.

There are no easy answers, but people certainly try to find them. The truth is, others don’t want to imagine themselves in our situation, so they are afraid to get too close to our pain.

Pain makes us uncomfortable.

Pain can make us fearful.

Pain can bring to the surface every worst nightmare scenario we have ticked away in our heart, while praying that would never become our reality.

So what makes us feel safe is to not get too close. To say things like, “Well, I just can’t imagine.” When in reality they don’t want to imagine at all.

What I wanted to hear, more than anything in my pain, was simply that someone was sorry for my pain.

I didn’t need them to fix it.

I didn’t need them to explain it.

I wanted them to connect to it. To try to understand it. I wanted them to be willing to just be there in the midst of it.

I will admit, those who were willing to go to that place with me were few and far between. Most didn’t. Most would rather give me a sad look, but continue on with their lives. Some days I just felt like a disruption, or even an inconvenience. Have you ever felt this way?

The good news is this. There is one person who was willing to “go there” with me. That is Jesus. On my bad days when I would rail in anger, wanting answers, and not understanding, He was there. He never tried to offer me trite words of encouragement. He just sat with me in my pain. He didn’t try to offer explanations. He spoke to me in the silence.

I know others’ words can be hurtful, even insensitive, but they just don’t know. They are trying, the only way they know how. But even the best antidotes they have to offer will never be enough. Why?

Because Jesus is the only one who can truly heal us of our pain.

He’s the only one who was with me in every moment of my pain, and He’s the only one who can bring me through it.

I encourage you today, to let go of the pain that others’ words have caused and to set your eyes on the One who loves you and longs to heal your every wound.

Dear Jesus: I thank You that You are the one constant who knows my pain so deeply. Instead of looking to others to heal my pain please help me to look to You, to trust in Your love for me. Amen.