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The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.
John 1:5 (NIV)

Have you ever tried to explain grief to someone?

Grief cannot be described in simple words.

Words just can’t come close to describing the chaos, the pain we are feeling.

I miss my husband all the time, but there are times it is really hard, like coming home on Fridays after work. Last night, it rained most of the night, not a torrential, stormy rain, just a good soaking rain, I missed him so much. I guess because we would have been stuck inside together. I miss those ‘stuck with you’ moments a lot.

After becoming a widow, have you found yourself at a loss for words as you try to comfort and encourage another lady who finds herself on this journey through grief?

My mind works in pretty strange ways. As I tried to describe grief to a friend who had just lost her husband, Chicken Pox came to my mind.

Crazy, I know. I warned you.

But all of a sudden, I thought this journey of grief can truly be compared to Chicken Pox.

There’s the fever.

Chicken Pox fever can be compared to the fog of grief. You know something bad is going on, but you don’t know just how bad until all those blisters show up.

The fever goes down, the fog of grief lifts, that fog that carries you through those early days, and now the blisters spring up and terrible itching begins. There is no relief as you settle into your new reality.

It is awful. No amount of pink calamine lotion or bathing in baking soda will take the horrible itching away.

And Chicken Pox (GRIEF) runs its course.

You call yourself better. You realize that you didn’t cry ALL day but only at bedtime, or when it rains, or a special song plays on the radio.

Soon the blisters scab over.

You go back to work, to life, but you look down and there are scars you carry now, and will for the rest of your life.

As widows, we are very aware of those scars. We will cherish the scars of the journey. They will remind us that our husbands were set aside for us before we were ever born.

My scars remind me that my greatest gifts came with Steve and through him. We were a great team. Not perfect, we all fall down, but we got back up. We finished well, and we finished strong.

Yes, grief is a lot like Chicken Pox.

You may find yourself right ‘smack in the middle’ of the painful itch, the terrible pain of it all…the darkest days of grief. One thing though, it isn’t any Chicken Pox remedy that will carry us through.

Our remedy for grief is truly Jesus Christ alone.

We found ourselves in such a dark season. Questions of “Why?”, “What now?” fill our minds and hearts.

Could it be, even in our broken state, God wants to use us as light to other widows? A sparkler of sorts…in the dark?

Even the darkness will not be dark to you;
the night will shine like the day,
for darkness is as light to you.
Psalm 139:12 (NIV)

There have been times I have found myself face down on the bathroom floor crying out to the Lord for help. Even in those times, I know where my help comes from, and I am strong enough, confident enough in Him to raise my finger and point the way to Him.

In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven.
Matthew 5:16 (NIV)

Our Heavenly Father, may we be a beacon in the dark night showing others to You. We ask that You use us to minister hope to broken hearts as You continue to heal ours. Amen