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“Can you meet me here again?”

These are the words I often ask God. Just when I think I’m rolling right along with life, having been forced into a “new normal”, an anniversary or holiday hits. As time has passed, I’ve learned to keep my focus on the amazing memories of my late husband Michael and me instead of letting all-consuming grief grip too tightly. But there are still moments that knock me to my knees. Our wedding anniversary and my son’s birthday are two of them.

April 19, would have been our 11th anniversary. As I see my close friends who were married the same year celebrating theirs, it can be extremely difficult, wondering what might have been. I can never quite prepare myself for that day.

Through the grace of God I am stepping forward, and I’ve found joy and fallen in love again after such horrific circumstances. But that doesn’t replace the pain and grief I will always feel from Michael’s loss, and the ache of knowing the only person that day has any real significance to isn’t here. Grief can seem heavy on days like this.

But I know the Lord’s strength; I have experienced it.

Jesus has met me time and time again in my despair. In my sorrow, he stands strong. From the first days and moments of learning of my husband’s suicide to today, he has been my comforter. He has brought people into my life to be His hands and heart on this earth. He rescued me. He wants to rescue all of us.

When we are afraid we might drown in our sorrow or be burned through the fire of grief, God says to us:

“When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they shall not sweep over you; when you walk through fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze.”
Isaiah 43:2 (NIV)

The Lord says “be strong and courageous.” We can’t simply tell ourselves to be strong or courageous, but God can. If we want to find strength when we are weak or courage when we’re afraid, we have to lean on Him and rely on His strength and courage.

“… I will be with you. I will never leave you or forsake you … for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.”
Joshua 1:5, 9 (NIV)

When we find ourselves back in the pits of despair, Jesus is there. There is no question whether he will meet us where we are – in joy, in sorrow, in hopelessness, in desperation – He will meet us time after time. And, if we really believe the God of the universe is with us, really with us – in whatever we face – we know He will see us through. That is a promise.

Lord, You are our comforter and our Savior. Help us to lean on Your strength and courage when we find ourselves in the days and moments of overwhelming grief. Thank you for Your steadfast love and faithfulness. Amen.