{{item.title | uppercase}}

Calm and quiet never felt so far away!

“This can’t be real!
It wasn’t supposed to be this way!
Please let me wake up from this nightmare!”

These phrases were just a few of the deafening screams of my broken heart in the early days of my grief.

The trauma surrounding the sudden death of my husband brought with it an inner turmoil I had never experienced before.

Four words from a police officer changed my life forever.

“We couldn’t save him.”

Those words echoed in my mind, day and night.

Suddenly, decisions and arrangements had to be made at a time when I had little energy or coherent thought to make them. My children needed me; that is all I could concentrate on for very long.

Helplessly torn between my own need to grieve and the responsibilities of being there for my children, my inner struggle was to remain calm. I certainly did not feel calm! For the first time I really understood the “fight or flight” response I read about in textbooks.

I wanted to leave; to be anywhere I could grieve without hurting someone else.

While I determined to be real with people about the anguish I felt, I never wanted to burden others with my grief.

My world had just collapsed. How was I supposed to go on?

Then God reminded me through His Word,

“Peace I leave with you, My peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid.”
John 14:27 (ESV)

As a believer, I had the promise of the everlasting peace of Christ!

This was a comfort to my weary soul. Yet knowing the promise and repeating it to myself did not always keep fear at bay.

Precious friends and family members were incredibly supportive, but I knew at the end of each day, grief in its chaos was waiting for me to continue down the pathway alone. Overall, it is not a pathway wide enough for two.

I knew I was not strong enough to walk it alone.

Once again, God gently reminded me through His Word,

I was NOT alone! The path was narrow and dark but He would carry me! Though the comfort of humans was temporary and never enough, God’s comfort would continue and was ultimately all I needed.

“O Lord, my heart is not lifted up; my eyes are not raised too high; I do not occupy myself with things too great and too marvelous for me. But I have calmed and quieted my soul, like a weaned child with its mother; like a weaned child is my soul within me. O Israel, hope in the Lord from this time forth and forevermore.”
Psalm 131:1-3 (ESV)

Like Israel, my hope was and is in the Lord!

Though I had nothing, in and of myself, that would calm or quiet my soul, I had faith in the One I trust with my future.

God has faithfully carried me along my grief journey, through every dark twist and turn in my path, and into the light of joy on the other side. He has never failed to be there.

His promise of peace is real, His footing on the path is sure, and His presence brings a calm and quiet for the soul who abides in Him.

Experience peace, calm, quiet, and yes, even joy! Abide in Him!

Father, please help us to abide in You. Let us cling to Your promise of a peace that You do not remove once You give it to us. You tell us not to be troubled or afraid; with You guiding us we have nothing to fear. There is nothing about our circumstances that catches You by surprise. We can trust You to carry us through the times when our minds cannot comprehend how to continue living without our loved ones. Help us to calm and quiet our souls like David did, by meditating on the Truth of Your Word. Amen.