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Part 1 of a five-part series by Kit Hinkle

Fight the good fight of the faith. Take hold of the eternal life to which you were called and about which you made the good confession in the presence of many witnesses.
1 Timothy 6:12 (ESV)

Don’t kid yourselves, ladies. As widows, we’re in a battle. Women of Faith speaker Nicole Johnson wrote a book about fighting cancer titled Stepping into the Ring. Her talk on the topic in front of sold-out crowds reached the hearts of every woman in the audience dealing with the blows of despair in a lonely battle against breast cancer. If you haven’t seen it, check it out here online and then ask yourself if you don’t sometimes feel the anguish of loneliness of living without your husband as a blow from the enemy in a similar way to how these ladies who fight cancer deal with fear and loss.

Early on, right after losing Tom, those overwhelming tears I might call a good wallow in tears were always acceptable. As time passed, though, while I still have those occasional episodes of tears, I found those “cloudbursts” spreading apart in frequency.

When they did happen, I regarded these tears as precious steps of release. But then I guarded myself against allowing the wrong type of tears to form an unhealthy pattern.

So how do you know the difference? When is a bout of tears God’s way of comforting you? And how do you know if the bouts of tears are becoming a habitual pattern of self-doubt and pity.

Only you will know when the tears are healthy grieving and when, perhaps they’ve tipped into perfectly natural, but perhaps unhealthy habit of self-pity and anxiety. If you find yourself in that boat, these steps can help you to work through it.

Step One:      Recognizing habitual tears (Tomorrow’s posting)

Step Two:      Observing the habit (Wednesday’s posting)

Step Three:      Replacing a habit with Truth (Thursday’s posting)

Step Four:      Freedom to grieve honestly (Friday’s posting)

Come back and visit as I explore each of these steps.

Lord Father,
My heart’s desire is to help every widow coming across these posts to feel encouraged to grieve tears of release while also learning not to maximize self-doubt but instead, maximize only the glory of You, Lord.
Amen.