{{item.title | uppercase}}

{{item.authdes}}

“Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed—or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.”
Luke 10:43 NIV

A few years ago, I was trying to be Super-Mom. My days were filled with activity: homeschooling, church work, keeping a house, cooking, cleaning, and taking care of my husband and sons. My aim was to do the best that I could for my family …all the time.

And I was doing okay managing all of this.

Not that I liked the word okay. I viewed that word almost like defeat. I wanted to be described as doing a “fantastic,” “awesome,” or even “great” job. I identified much more with Martha in the Bible story than with her sister Mary.

Then my world was rocked, first by Keith’s illness, then by his death.

And the word okay took on a whole new meaning.

At first, okay meant that I was surviving the grief, perhaps even making some progress with it. I was continuing to place one foot in front of the other. I was working out what I needed to with God spiritually and emotionally, and I was continuing to mother my children. We were moving forward as a family, taking one step at a time toward finding a “new normal.”

The “Martha” Super-Mom days of the past were not a consideration at this. I was in survival mode. Okay was something to shoot for…something I might be able to achieve.

But over the years since Keith’s death, I have learned a lot about being okay.

I have realized that being okay is really a blessing from God.

Financially, we are okay. I have been able to keep the house, and to continue to homeschool the boys, definite praises in this economy. This is a true testimony to the wisdom of Keith’s financial planning…and to the graciousness of God’s care for us as a family. While I may not have an “outstanding” financial position, we continue to be okay.

The boys are okay as they continue to deal with the death of their dad, and the stresses of having just one (imperfect) parent. They are not plagued by anger or bitterness over their lives, but continue to seek God and see joy in their circumstances. The effect of the tragedy in their lives has been overall positive. Oh, they squabble, and argue, and sometimes disobey, but that is fine with me. In fact, it is a blessing. They are just normal, average kids. The best kind of okay to be!

My own relationship with God is okay, as well. I do not blame Him for my lot in life. Even in the beginning, I did not spend time angry and turned away from Him, but instead, hurting, I turned in toward Him. As a result, my relationship with God is strengthened in ways it might not have been if I had not been through all of this. Being okay was my choice. God would have let me turn away from Him. I had that free will. I am so thankful that I was interested in making that relationship okay again, that He loved me enough to seek me in my hurt, to wrap His arms around me and offer me peace.

In fact, that is the only thing in my life that is not just okay – my God.

While I may be average or ordinary…just okay…He is not. The Bible describes Him as so much more:

Praise be to the Lord God, the God of Israel, who alone does marvelous deeds.
Psalm 72:19:8

All this also comes from the Lord Almighty, whose plan is wonderful, whose wisdom is magnificent.
Isaiah 28:29

For great is the Lord and most worthy of praise; He is to be feared above all gods.
I Chronicles 16:25

I don’t have to be more than okay because He is so much more than okay. What a freeing thought!

Sisters, when we break ourselves away from the bondage of having to be more than we are, more than we were made to be…when we can be happy with being okay…we can rest wholly in Him and in His greatness…and glory in our own smallness. We don’t have to carry the weight of the world on our shoulders. Praise God!

Father, thank You for my being okay and all You have done to help me be okay through these widowhood years. May I always be okay in You. In Jesus’ name, amen.