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“…thus says the LORD to you, ‘Do not be afraid and do not be dismayed at this great horde, for the battle is not yours but God’s.”
2 Chronicles 20:15b ESV

Some days, I have a need to cry out and yet I know people are tired of listening. How many hundreds of times have I asked people to pray for me? How many phone calls have I made saying, “I can’t do this anymore”? Thousands of two word texts……pray please!

As a writer for this team and a member of a church staff, I pray for others. I war for people on the front lines of loss and grief. People who have no training, no “expertise” or experience with the devastation loss and grief can bring. People who are being tossed about, like a rag-doll in the middle of a hurricane. I get on bended knee and war in the heavenly realms for them. I lay in the night watches and pray. I get in my quiet prayer closet, along with God, and lift them up. It’s my honor, my privilege, my duty.

There are days though, days when I question, “Lord, is anyone warring for me anymore?” “I’m IN the battle, Lord; is someone covering me? I NEED cover!”

“GOD, ARE YOU LISTENING? I don’t want to do this alone, Lord. I can’t do this alone. I’m tired!”

Moses cried out. Samuel cried out. David cried out. Jesus cried out. I cry out too. In my spirit, I KNOW He listens. It’s when my mind-I think, my will-I want, and my emotions-I feel, get in the way of my spirit’s ability to listen to the Holy Spirit when things get twisted.

When I begin to think about or worry about things more than I’m praying about them, I’m upside down.

I’m thankful God is still a God of redemption stories! I am thankful that when I cry out He sends me reminders. He has people text me to say, “I woke up thinking about you today. Praying for you.” Oh, what a sweet text to receive early in the morning. I’m thankful He prompts other prayer warriors to send a message or a word of encouragement at just the right time.

I’m thankful I’m not as broken as I was at the beginning. I’m thankful I am growing deep and wide roots into Christ. I’m thankful to have more days now when I war for others, than days when I need to be carried off or through the battle field.

I am thankful God allows me to see those who are wounded around me, find healing though Him. I am thankful for ones who seek me out to war for and with them, even when it’s hard. Why? Because, I have fewer years on this side of Heaven than I have already lived, and I want to live a life of impact. I want to live a life worthy of my calling.

As a prisoner for the Lord, then, I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received.
Ephesians 4:1 NIV

Widows by nature have to be warriors or give up.

We have to be strong and resilient or quit. We become strong or we choose to give up and let death defeat us. I’m thankful I know the real story.

I’m thankful when Jesus cried out, He cried out on the Cross and there He defeated death and while it may feel like death has stolen from us here on Earth, it can never steal Eternity. We are strong, but He is stronger and the war has already been won.

God, give us grateful hearts in the middle of the battle. Please send us reminders, renew our strength, and remind us others war with us. Help us to live in victory and remember the battle has been won! In Jesus name, we pray. Amen!