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You’re blessed when you feel you’ve lost what is most dear to you. Only then can you be embraced by the One most dear to you.
Matthew 5:4 (MSG)

A New Flood of Emotions

With the recent passing of my uncle just a few short weeks ago, a new flood of emotions fell upon my heart quickly. It started with the feelings of sadness for my aunt. I know how hard the days, weeks, and months ahead will be for her and the family. Especially after forty four years of marriage. I only made it to thirteen years. I can only imagine how hard it would have been to be married almost a half century. To faithfully be by his side through all the ups and downs of his all too brief battle with cancer. What a testimony of love that is!

Sadness Gave Way to Hope

My uncle was no longer suffering in his earthly, cancer ridden body. Hope came in the knowledge that one day I will join him and others in heaven forever…rejoicing and praising God. Hope is knowing our earthly time is short compared to the eternity we will spend in heaven.

Hope Gave Way to Tears

Then the endless tears fell harder and harder the more I let my feelings get the best of me. Tears that fell for all the moments that would no longer be shared together. For all the holidays, birthdays, and milestones of our children that he can longer celebrate with us. Tears for all the decisions, changes, and future endeavors that need to be made without him.

Feelings Gave Way to Truth

That’s when I realized that I can’t let my feelings get the better of me. I can’t allow them to cloud my judgment of how God truly “feels” about me. Our emotions are so raw and flippant in the early stages of grief. I remember telling everyone that “I’m fine. Really, we’re all fine,” knowing that if they followed me home and plucked the roof off to peek inside, they would find me curled in the fetal position crying on top of our bed. I bet they wouldn’t think I was “amazing, so God-centered, and strong” at that point.

But regardless of how we are truly feeling or how we may interpret the feelings we have for God, the truth is He loves us. Even when we have lost the one person who is most dear to us on this earth, He loves us. It’s in that time that we can start to feel loved and embraced by God, and begin to move towards those feelings of hope, wholeness and love again. One painful step at a time…

Allow God to love you through

• friends
• strangers
• church members
• family members
• your emotions (the good ones and the bad ones)

He created us. He knows how we really feel. Don’t mask it or pretend your feelings aren’t allowed. Emotions are a healthy outlet of our pain. Let them flow.

Allow God to love you. Period.

That is when you will begin to feel whole again; when you are embraced by the One who is most dear to you.

Heavenly Father, meet us where we are. Feelings of sadness, loneliness, and grief or even in the feelings that say, I’m okay. I’ve got this. Help us to remember that You are there. You are the One who will embrace us tightly and get us through the deepest, darkest valley to the other side. You are the One who can love us with an everlasting love. Help us to feel that love even when we feel completely unlovable. Most of all help us to know that our emotions, our feelings are okay. Allow us to fall before You and let it all out, the good and the bad, knowing that when we are through, You will be there with arms wide open every time. Amen.