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See, I am doing a new thing!
Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?
I am making a way in the desert
and streams in the wasteland.
Isaiah43:19 NIV

I felt it coming.

Standing in line to check out the rental car, I felt it coming– the anxiety attack that sneaks up and steals away my courage.

“This was a bad idea,” I thought to myself. “I can’t drive a strange car in a strange city to a place I’ve never been. We should have just taken the shuttle to the retreat center.”

But the reservation was already made, and I was next in line. Besides, I couldn’t fall apart in front of my dear widow friend who had come with me to the conference. She was depending on me. So I quietly prayed for peace for my pounding heart as I stepped up to the counter.

My GPS guided us from the airport through the Dallas streets to the highway and on to Camp Copass. Traffic was light and I relaxed and enjoyed the drive. Soon we were driving through a tree-lined lane and were greeted by a sparkling lake surrounding the camp. Quiet and serene, we were in awe of God’s beauty.

I had been determined to come to the 2019 AWM Conference even before it was announced. Seeing the AWM website information for past conferences, I really wanted to go to one, but there was no info for a 2019 conference. I needed to get away, to find connection with other widows, and with God. My email was sent to ask if one was being planned and received a friendly reply that, yes, there was a plan and it would be posted on the website soon. So, on this sunny Sunday afternoon, my friend and I parked the car, unloaded our bags, and walked into a room of love, acceptance and complete understanding of our widowhood.

At the conference

Over the next three days we shared our lives with one another. Forty-five women shared stories of loss and pain, stories of questions and not yet answered prayers, stories of searching for God and learning to lean into him on this journey. We shared stories of hope and joy. There was laughter and tears. We listened to those who were inspired to teach us what God had laid on their hearts for us to hear, and we worshiped our great and loving God. The meals were wonderful, and we enjoyed walks and yoga together. The beauty surrounding us allowed us to sit in quiet solitude with our compassionate God who knows our hurting hearts.

The Lord is close to the brokenhearted
and saves those who are crushed in spirit.
Psalm 34:18

Leaving with Purpose

We shared contact information so we could stay in touch with new friends, then reluctantly, packed our bags and headed to our homes. But we returned not the same as when we left. We carry lighter hearts, new friends, and renewed faith. We are not alone, and God has a plan and a purpose for each of us. He is doing a new thing, making a way in the desert of our loss, and streams of hope in the wastelands of our grief.

Our loving Father, thank You that You care so deeply for us. You give us hope in our sorrow and joy in our sadness. You hold our broken hearts, collect our tears, and set our feet on solid ground to continue the work You have prepared for us to do. Give us faith to wait on You for direction, wisdom to know when to move, and courage to take the next step. In the precious name of Jesus, Amen.

***We are working on a 2020 conference for October, if conditions allow for safe travel and gathering as a group. We are also exploring offering an online conference at the same time. More details later!