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Legacy is a loaded word for me now. Becoming a widow at thirty-five years old made me acutely aware of the increased need to leave a legacy for my kids, while fiercely protecting and even nurturing my late husband’s legacy.

In the beginning it was hard.

My husband died by suicide in a very public manner. The fear and shame of that fact drove me for awhile. I feared how my very young children would ever live full lives with one parent missing. I was afraid of how damaging this would be for them as they learned the details and reality of their father’s death. I also spent countless hours trying to figure out how I could destroy the statistics they now faced in their own lives, with the hereditary factors of mental illness. I thought I needed to “prove” or “do” something, to create a “worthy” legacy to eliminate the stigma of suicide from all of us.

In the years since, God has healed me in mighty ways.

He’s taught me how to embrace the life He has ordained for me, and claim full victory in Christ over my husband’s suicidal death. (1 Corinthians 15:57)

I am not defined by what’s happened to us. My kids are not destined to become suicide victims, or prone to struggles themselves.

My God is bigger!

Our kids are His, and He has ordained their steps. (Proverbs 16:9)

I can fully TRUST Him with their lives and with mine. (Psalm 91:1-2)

I am a daughter of the KING and not bound by any stigma. (2 Corinthians 6:18)

I have come to realize the legacy is in our entire story. That story still unfolds today. It’s in our children and their limitless, God-designed futures. Scott’s legacy is in his eternal reward he is receiving right now in Heaven.

As a widow I get the unique privilege of not only seeing and influencing my husband’s legacy through sharing our story and raising our kids, but I am experiencing a greater sense of the importance in making sure I leave a positive, faith-filled, legacy too.

My desire and prayer is to influence my children and anyone I can for the Kingdom.

I want to glorify God even in the midst of so much tough stuff; praying that God will continue to use me and my kids for His greater purposes, and my kids will choose to walk in full victory in Him throughout their lives.

At the end, I hope the biggest part of my legacy will be I reflected Christ and faithfully followed Him all the days of my life.

Here are some practical tips for living a legacy now that will impact the Kingdom for eternity:

• Share your story and your faith with everyone you can.
• Lead your home and your kids well rooted in the Lord and His Word. (Deuteronomy 6)
• Tell your kids about their daddies. Remember him well for them.
• Honor God, even in the mire of grief.
• Remind yourself and point your kids to God‘s redemptive plan. (Revelation 21:5)
• Leave fingerprints on this world by actively participating in your church and by making missions a mission.
• Comfort others with the same comfort you’ve been given. (2 Corinthians 1:4)
• Grow your faith through personal, small group, and large group studies.
• Find intentional ways to grow your kids’ faith.
• Surround your kids with those who’ll point them to Jesus.
• Pray for your kids, for their salvation, for their futures, and for their spouses.
• Pray for your future and seek His will for you now.
• Live life! (Ecclesiastes 9:1-12)
• Trust God in every single way, walking in the shelter of His love, grace, and provision every day. (Proverbs 3:5-6)