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Lift up your eyes right now wherever you are reading this and notice what kinds of chairs and stools you see around you. Many have at least three legs, right? Some have four. But you don’t see any, I hope, that have just one or two. Why is that? Because you would tip over every time you sat on it! It would never keep you up.

I discovered a similar idea with God’s character. Some will preach only God’s love. Others will preach mainly His wisdom. Still, another might just focus on His sovereignty.

What even is “sovereignty”? Do you see the word “reign” in the middle of the word? That’s how you can remember what it means – He is the ultimate power and authority. If that was all you knew about God’s character, He might seem distant and impersonal.

What if we only knew of His love? That would lead us to be disillusioned that God only loves us by giving us what we want all the time.

But when we tie together God’s love, sovereignty, and His wisdom, we have a more balanced view of God’s character. But why does this matter to ME?

Because when I was really struggling with my husband’s addiction and subsequent death, I didn’t think God loved me. When others got the healing I prayed for, I began to focus solely on the feeling of being unloved by God. I didn’t think God knew what He was doing – honestly, I thought I knew best! There was no way God was in control because my life was so OUT of control.

And the more our lives seemed to spiral downward, the more I struggled with the character of God. The song of my childhood haunted me – “Jesus Loves Me…”

After months of struggling with balancing on this chair without all the legs, I needed to find out the truth about God. I had been raised in a great God-fearing home where we never missed church. My parents were even in full-time Christian ministry. I knew a lot about God from clear teachings throughout my childhood. But when God didn’t “deliver”, so to speak, I became very frustrated. God felt very distant and uninterested in my life.

Did you catch the word “felt”? As I often tell my teenage girls, feelings are great “passengers” but terrible “drivers”. Those feelings that seem so valid, and they might be, are not always based on the facts or truth. My feelings that God loved others more than me because He answered their prayers with a yes, were not based on the truth of Scripture.

So what Scripture should I go to when my feelings don’t agree with the truth?

We could start with Romans 8:38-39 (ESV)

For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.

You could paraphrase it and make it more personal like this: For I am sure that neither the death of my loved one, nor people who say the most ridiculous things, nor having to relocate, nor anything else I might encounter in my widow journey, will be able to separate me from the love of God in Christ Jesus MY Lord.

Next, we can go to Isaiah 55:8 (ESV)

For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the Lord.

This verse is an important truth that God doesn’t do things the way we would do them, necessarily. He sees the entire picture of our lives – not just a snapshot here or there. His goal for our lives is to bring glory to Him and not to keep us comfortable and rich. I’m not sure why that was such a challenge for me to get past. I think that somewhere along the way, I thought if I did “all the right things”, then God would make me healthy, wealthy, and wise. But that’s just a Mother Goose rhyme and not from the Bible.

So we have two legs to our stool now – love and wisdom. How would I add God’s sovereignty to this? There are many verses you could find that focus on God’s sovereignty but I chose Colossians 1:16 (ESV).

For by him all things were created, in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or rulers or authorities—all things were created through him and for him.

Once I got these three character traits of God balanced, my feelings got in the passenger seat instead of the driver’s seat.

If you are struggling with balancing God’s character in light of your loss or grief, read these Scriptures again. Pray for God to show you His character today.

Sovereign Lord, we worship You and praise You for Who You are – the creator and sustainer of life. Help us today balance these three truths of Your character. And let that bring peace and joy to our hearts. Amen