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As 2016 comes to a close and I step into 2017, year 7 of this journey, I stand in awe of God’s faithfulness and provision for me and my family. I wrote the piece here a few years ago, yet it still rings true today. 2016 may have been a tougher one for various reasons; where some prayers went unanswered, where loss was felt, and life didn’t go as planned sometimes(go figure). But, I still saw God’s fingerprints all over it. 16 is my number! And I praise God He continues to redeem and restore it. I pray this article blesses you as much as it did me as I revisited it and prayed over the new year.
“This is the day The Lord has made, we will rejoice and be glad in it.”
Psalm 118:24
16 is my number…. Let me explain!
The 16th was the most joyous day around my house for many years. September 16th was my husband’s birthday, we met on October 16th, and so we chose August 16th as our wedding day. My reasoning was he never forgot his birthday or the day we met, so our anniversary would be equally as easy to remember. We celebrated the 16th many times over. It was our day!
Then my husband’s death changed all that. He went to heaven on June 16th, and it seemed to go from a joyous day to a cursed day for me. Each month, I dreaded and loathed it. 16 was a number that had betrayed me. I marked it off on the calendar the first year every month, 1 month ago, 2 months ago, 3 months ago, 4 months ago…. For a long time I had to begrudgingly acknowledge the 16th and hated how it contained a tangible reminder of all I lost.
Now, I know God knows, because unbeknownst to anyone setting the schedule for our writing team, I am scheduled for my first official team member post and several after on that day.
I also know because without hesitation, I said I wanted the number 16 as my shirt number for a women’s basketball league. I run around with 16 plastered on my back as I play every Sunday night.
My son wears 16 on every uniform, for every team he plays on now as well.
But wait…what am I thinking? The 16th became cursed, right?
I lead with my heart, and my heart has Christ. In what seems like an impulsive choice with my basketball team and an odd coincidence with this ministry, I realize it’s entirely the LORD. When asked what number I’d like my mouth blurted out the number 16 from my heart, before my brain got in the way. When asked if the schedule looked good, I confirmed without even noticing the date was the 16th for the next few months.
God is here and He knows.
God gave me the gift of joyous celebrations on the 16th for so many years. Satan tried to claim 16 for himself through my husband’s suicide. But, God knew that someday having all these events fall on the same day would somehow help me go back and remember and also help me move forward. He knew way back then that now I’d be writing about my journey on the 16th of each month, and that I’d be running around every Sunday joyously on the basketball court with 16 on my back. He knew that what Satan tried to steal, He’d claim and use for His honor and glory and my good.
It’s amazing to see my life through this date years later. It’s still a whopper of a few months that hit me almost consecutively: June 16th, August 16th, September 16th, and October 16th. Of course 3 of these dates no longer carry the joy they once did because of the 4th one. But, they all no longer feel like they betrayed me either. They are just days, my days, days The Lord made.
The 16th has been claimed by God as my day. Now it’s my turn to find ways to rejoice and be glad in it. Sometimes that’s easy and sometimes that’s hard. But it’s possible because I have Christ and I can trust Him. I’ve seen Him work to heal me and make 16 all mine.
Heavenly father, I stand in awe of how you’ve taken the 16th and transformed it, from joyous celebrations, to horrific pain, and then to perfect peace. I have peace in your words that this day is the day you made for me. I embrace it, and I ask that you continue to use me to bring honor and glory to you as I share my story about my day, number 16. I pray that you are with each widow reading this, that you help them to move their day from pain and hurt to a place of peace, as they move forward and see it in a new light. Lord help us to claim that this is the day You have made, and help us find ways to rejoice and be glad as you heal us. In your matchless name, Amen.